Saturday, 10 January 2015

Long distance is hard, but worth it.

Me and Alex have been together for almost 5 years now and for almost 4 years of our relationship we have been long distance. Me living in Essex and working in London and Alex living near Gloucestershire and working on a 4 on 4 off shift which meant he didn't always have the weekends off.

One of the hardest things was probably his shift pattern...

...we could go a month without seeing each other because his shifts fell on the weekends. This was probably more difficult than the standard long distance relationships because we couldn't see each other on a regular basis. As well as not being able to see each other when we wanted as his shift pattern determined when we did and didn't (which was a pain when we had other plans like birthdays or meeting up with friends).

Costs of travel can pile up...

A long distance relationship is always going to rinse your bank a little because trains are so damn expensive but we didn't realise how much until I added it up. We were spending around £50 for a return ticket each time we traveled to each other. And because I could only travel to him after work on Friday's by the time I got there it was around 10pm which meant I had to get a bus or cab sometimes which would add on more money (and is obviously tiring) and over time it starts to pile up.

Feeling held back in the relationship... 

You can feel like a long distance relationship can hold you both back sometimes. I don't mean in the way of your career or life goals but holding you back from progressing in the relationship. Sometimes you can feel like you're stuck in a point of the relationship where you've been together a long time and you love each other and spending time together but you don't get to do it enough. You want to progress to the next stage and see each other often like a normal relationship or even move out together.

Moving to the next stage...

At the same time this can be scary if you haven't got to see each other regularly (which you don't in a long distance relationship), it's only normal to worry about how things could change when you do start seeing each other a lot. Will we still get on? Will we discover things about each other we may not like? But don't worry! If you've got on so far, seeing each other more will just make things better. And that's how it's going for us. Just remember it's only natural to both be scared, but be scared together and support each other through it. 

It's all worth it though...

After almost 4 years of our relationship being long distance we are finally seeing each other more and I couldn't be happier. Seeing each other more has improved our relationship so much, it feels like we are more in love than ever. Being able to go out and do stuff together when we feel like it as well as the simple things like being able to fall asleep and wake up together. It all sounds super cheesy but it's true! And it seems like it can only go up from here :)

Are you in (or have ever been in) a long distance relationship? What do you find is the hardest?
Let me know in the comment box below, i'd love to hear from you!



  1. I was in a great relationship, really in love and my boyfriend was too. But as soon as he went to uni far away he was too busy to talk to me and within a week claimed to have just fallen out of love with me but he barely even texted me the whole time. It sucked because he was so serious about me and used to talk about our future. Now we're just in an odd place where I love him, but he doesn't anymore and doesn't want to be with me. So long distance basically killed my relationship haha.

    1. I'm sorry to hear that :( my best friend recently went through a very similar situation.

      I think when you're at that age though people do change a lot. Especially when you go to university, you feel more independent, your meeting new people and you can change as a person as well. So long distance when going to university is probably the most difficult situation for a relationship.

      Danielle x

  2. We were in a long distance relationship for about 18 months, and the hardest part was definitely not seeing each other throughout the week. I felt like my Monday-Friday was just a case of existing, getting through the days until the weekend when we could be together again.

    We live together now, and in some ways that's equally as difficult. He moved to be with me, so not living near his friends is hard for him and I feel like we miss out on that coupley side of things; spending time together with mutual friends.

    You're right though....ultimately, it's all worth it in the end!

    Lorna // Scared Toast

    1. Hi Lorna,

      I definitely understand how you feel, that space in between seeing each other is like limbo.

      That's so sweet and thoughtful that he would move to be with you though! But I understand about the coupley thing - me and Alex were like that for the past 4 years until he recently moved down to live with me. I always wanted to be able to combine my friends and boyfriend so we could all spend time together but sometimes it just doesn't work out like that.

      Danielle x

  3. Great post! I've been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years, with 2.5 of those being long distance (only about 18 months to go!). I could relate so much, the expense is a killer (we were on about £60 + £20 in taxis the first year - it's now around £35 in total but will go back up next year), and the goodbyes don't get much easier! x

    NINEGRANDSTUDENT: A Student Lifestyle Blog

  4. This post is so great! My boyfriend and I are long distance at the moment since I've moved for uni and it's pretty difficult to get through! Hopefully it will all be worth it though <3 I did a 'long distance survival guide' post over on my blog - if you wanted to check it out that'd be awesome!
    - Laurel xxx

    1. It's never going to be easy, but i'm sure you two will be fine :)
      And yeah I did read it when I looked at your blog earlier! Great post!

      Danielle x


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